A viral TikTok trend, The Bar Was So Low, has sparked conversations among women reflecting on past relationships where they accepted far less than they deserved.
While the trend is international, the Kenyan edition has captivated many with shocking yet relatable confessions from women bravely sharing their experiences and offering insights on toxic relationships.
Many women admitted that they were in denial, convincing themselves that their situations were normal simply because they wanted to be with someone.
What Does “The Bar Was So Low” Mean?
The phrase “the bar was so low” refers to situations where someone’s relationship standards were set at a minimal level, making it easy for their partners to meet or even fail to meet basic expectations.
Women in this trend realized, after the relationship ended, that they had spent too much time lowering their standards, only to recognize their self-worth much later.
Here are 22 real-life confessions from Kenyan women on how low the bar was in their relationships:
1-10: Sacrificing Too Much for Too Little
- The bar was so low that I washed his clothes every weekend with my own fare. Just call me Madam Washington.
- The bar was so low that he broke up with me a day before my birthday to avoid buying a gift, and I still wished him “sweet dreams, babe.”
- The bar was so low that he bought himself dinner every night instead of giving me money to buy food. We lived together, but I was basically a starving roommate instead of a girlfriend.
- The bar was so low that I caught him cheating, and instead of leaving, I begged him to choose me—or at least keep both of us. I was literally negotiating my own disrespect.
- The bar was so low that he got my friend pregnant, and instead of leaving, I was out here planning the baby shower while he was off finding his next victim.
- I once carried a rolling pin from Meru Town all the way to Nkubu just so we could make chapati together over the weekend. Looking back, I think I had lost my mind.
- I was walking with him when he met a lady. They hugged, stood there talking, and I just waited… and I’m still with him.
- The bar was so low that even after he told me “flowers are for the dead,” I stayed. And when he literally dragged me out of his house at 1 AM with my hands tied, I still forgave him.
- The bar was so low that he spoiled my laptop twice and brought it back for me to fix. When he broke up with me and took another girl out, he asked me to “understand” because he was broke.
- I used to call him a million times. He’d block me, so I’d call with a new number, and the moment he heard my voice, he’d hang up.
11-20: Blind Love & Denial
- The bar was so low that when he failed to turn up for our date, I went to check on him at his house—to “find out what happened.”
- The bar was so low that I used to lend him money so I could take him out for drinks—even though he was working, and I wasn’t. Call me Bob the Builder.
- The bar was so low that I found a pair of wet undies hidden in his drawer. His excuse? A “friend” had left them over the weekend. And I believed him!
- The bar was so low that I texted a woman thinking I was the “main chick” and she was the side chick—only to find out she was his wife.
- The bar was so low that he left me at his house to go visit a woman he had impregnated at a local bar (she was a waitress). And I could literally see the bar from his balcony.
- The bar was so low that he once told me to leave my own house at night so he could video call his girlfriend and prove to her that he was in an Airbnb alone.
- The bar was so low that even when I found out he was still with his ex, I stayed.
- The bar was so low that his other girlfriend would wake up every morning just to insult me—and he’d tell me, “She’s not insulting you, she has a boyfriend abroad.”
- The bar was so low that I got kicked out of his house at night… and I still slept outside his door.
- The bar was so low that I thought him not wanting to take pictures with me meant he loved his privacy. Turns out he just loved keeping me a secret.
21-22: Losing Self-Worth for Love
- The bar was so low that he body-shamed me—and instead of leaving, I went to the gym to “fix myself” for him.
- The bar was so low that I paid his rent and funded his vacations.
Final Thoughts
The “Bar Was So Low” trend has provided an eye-opening moment for many women, highlighting how low expectations can lead to unfulfilling relationships. While some stories are hilarious in hindsight, they also serve as a reminder of the importance of self-worth in relationships.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where the bar was so low? What was your wake-up call? 🚩
by MAUREEN WARUINGE
