Kenyan singer, entrepreneur, and author Esther Akoth has shared candid advice on the realities of single parenthood, urging women to prepare emotionally and focus on rebuilding their lives rather than waiting for circumstances to change.
Akothee made the remarks during a conversation with media personality Jackie Ogaga, who asked how she balances raising a family, writing books and continuing with her education.
Jackie also invited the mother of five to dedicate a message to Nadia Mukami, the musician who has been open about turning painful experiences into a sense of purpose.
Before responding, Akothee clarified that she preferred describing Nadia as a “single parent” rather than a “single mother”, noting that the child’s father is still present in the child’s life.
However, she cautioned that co-parenting relationships can change over time.
“I don’t want to say you are a single mum. I would call you a single parent because at least I see your baby’s father is around. But allow me to manage your expectations.”
Preparing for the realities of co-parenting
Akothee said many women experience uncertainty in co-parenting arrangements, especially when former partners move into new relationships.
According to her, women should not assume that today’s support will always remain the same.
“Men are very diabolical when it comes to co-parenting. Today he is hot, tomorrow he is cold. The moment he goes into another relationship, darling, you need to fasten your seatbelt. One day that girl will pick up the call and say he is taking a shower.”
Akothee Kenya // Instagram
She encouraged single parents to prepare emotionally for such changes rather than being caught off guard.
Reclaiming personal power
Drawing from her own experiences as a mother and author, Akothee spoke about what she described as the turning point many single parents eventually reach.
She said there comes a moment when the tears stop, the sleepless nights become part of everyday life, and a person must choose whether to remain stuck in disappointment or move forward.
“There comes a point in every single mother’s life when the tears dry and the sleepless nights blur into an endless loop of exhaustion.”
She added that although children remain important, personal healing should come first because it enables a parent to care for everyone else.
“You face a choice. Either you stay trapped in the cycle of waiting, begging and hoping, or you rise. You pick up the shattered pieces of your heart and decide to fight for the only thing that truly matters. That thing is not your children. That thing is you.”
Choosing strength and positivity
Akothee concluded by encouraging single parents to remain resilient despite life’s challenges.
She said rebuilding confidence and maintaining a positive outlook are essential for anyone raising children alone.
“You have got to be strong. Have a backbone to carry the rest, and you choose positivity. We love men.”
