Kenyan author and public figure Lillian Ng’ang’a has called on parents and guardians to stop punishing young children for performing poorly in school, saying they need encouragement rather than fear as they learn.
In a message shared on social media, Ng’ang’a argued that children develop at different rates and should not be harshly judged for failing to meet academic expectations at an early age.
“Stop punishing young kids who fail in school. They are still learning, and they will naturally improve with age.”
She added,”Children should be allowed to learn without being punished for not ‘passing’ exams. It is humiliating and makes them feel like failures. Grading can be done later for placement purposes.
Academic excellence is just one part of excellence.”
Her remarks sparked a conversation online about parenting, education and the best ways to motivate children who face academic challenges.
Learning is a gradual process.
Education experts have long maintained that children acquire academic skills at different stages of development. Factors such as learning styles, home environment, emotional wellbeing and access to educational resources can all influence a child’s performance in school.
One commentor, wangui_wa_wairimu shared her experience, “@ngangalillian This just unlocked a memory from one of the high schools I attended. 😂 (Yes… I went to three high schools. Don’t ask. 🤣)
By Form 4, third term, they had divided us according to performance. One class was basically Heaven’s waiting room for A’s and B’s. 😭 The other class… let’s just say if you were below a C+, they escorted you there like, “This is your new home.” 💀😂
Kenyan high schools really had zero interest in protecting anyone’s self-esteem. 🤣
Kenyan high schools really had zero interest in protecting anyone’s self-esteem. 🤣
Social media users share their views.
One user, Angel_atieno_official_page, questioned whether such practices still occur, writing: “Are children still punished for failing?”
Another follower, Sherry_ndegwa, said the message reflected her own experience. “This is so me, just encourage them to do better.”
Encouragement over fear
While parents naturally want their children to succeed, experts caution that harsh punishment for poor academic performance can increase anxiety, lower self-esteem and reduce motivation to learn.
Ng’ang’a’s message adds to an ongoing discussion about creating healthy learning environments both at school and at home. Her call encourages parents to focus less on punishment and more on helping children understand their mistakes and improve over time.
As conversations around children’s mental wellbeing and education continue to grow, many parents are increasingly embracing approaches that reward effort, celebrate progress and recognise that every child learns at their own pace.
