A provocative question from controversial men’s coach Amerix – “Why do you have a baby mama? This is a men’s space. Speak!” – sparked an unusually honest discussion among Kenyan men this week.
The #ManDay conversation revealed complex reasons behind the baby mama phenomenon, ranging from youthful mistakes to fundamental relationship breakdowns.
The Careless Ejaculation Argument
Many respondents admitted their situations stemmed from impulsive decisions. “Life doesn’t always go as planned,” conceded @Iamreinhard_, while @CharlesO99512 reflected: “I didn’t know about masculine purpose…the burdens of careless ejaculation.”
Some were brutally honest about poor judgment – @noobie_cfc admitted: “This girl forced herself to bear my kid when I was broke to the core.”
Financial advisor @Dre_Chong offered blunt advice: “Don’t erect if you can’t feed your own stomach.” This sentiment was echoed by @McOriaro who declared: “Baby mamas don’t exist – only men who failed to maintain their frame.”
When Relationships Turn Toxic
Several men cited irreconcilable differences as the breaking point. “She was toxic, that’s why I walked away,” stated @SylvesterAura2. Tribal tensions emerged in @Jare_TheRanger’s case: “She detested our cultural practices – a clear sign we weren’t going anywhere.”
@_barkutwo described traditional gender role conflicts: “She’d go to bed leaving us to cook – I don’t entertain that as a Kalenjin.” Others like @ndegenjega prioritised peace: “That woman became too difficult – I left but kept custody.”
The Bait-and-Switch Scenarios
Multiple men recounted feeling deceived after conception. @KevinLibanEvans compared it to “being misled by a book’s cover.” @TSneakerzzz shared an elaborate scam story where a partner allegedly conspired with relatives to fake Gulf employment plans after receiving business capital.
More tragically, @BlazeCassidy_ described a pregnancy ruined by misplaced jealousy: “She accused me of cheating over an innocent call and left…three years later I’d moved on.”
The Practical Defenders
Not all comments were negative. @OsoroBrian32422 argued: “It’s not wrong if you’re still responsible for the child’s needs.” @NewkenyaTv represented those caught by circumstance: “We’d broken up…a drunken night led to my 7-year-old son.”
Meanwhile, @_Wanyonyi1 philosophised: “There’s a reason mobiles have memory card slots – backups are necessary.”
The Amerix Effect
The discussion revealed how Amerix’s teachings influence relationships. A Babu Owino fan account claimed his partner “knew I was Amerix’s student and worsened the situation.” @_Muga_Peter credited the coach: “I followed your advice – she flew away like Aviator!”
Cultural Shifts vs Traditional Values
@CaptKevv framed it as a societal issue: “These are essentially men living separately from wives while providing, like our fathers did.” But @_luhya distilled the core issue: “Irresponsible men and kunguru hafugiki [you can’t tame a crow].”
As the conversation trended, it became clear Kenya’s baby mama phenomenon has no single explanation. From @avric_’s blunt “not having to see her boring face daily” to @254Mafesha’s principled “my kids will never be raised by another man,” the responses painted a nuanced picture of modern Kenyan masculinity.
What emerged wasn’t just excuses, but rare male vulnerability about failed relationships, financial pressures, and cultural clashes in an evolving society. While Amerix’s question sought accountability, the answers revealed how complex modern fatherhood has become when traditional marriage structures collapse.
One thing was unanimous though – as @Rein_Hard_ noted: “What matters is how we step up as fathers.”
By Geoffrey mbuthia
