As 2025 kicked off, many Kenyans embraced the popular phrase “Hii mwaka lazima nitoke soko”—a declaration of their determination to settle down.
The pressure to get married intensifies as people reach a certain age, with women often motivated by the biological clock and men by the desire to escape loneliness.
Renowned motivational speaker Sam West recently shared advice for men planning to marry this year, stressing the importance of choosing a submissive woman—one who listens, respects, and acknowledges her husband as the leader in the relationship.
According to Sam, many relationships struggle because men fail to establish authority, leading to a situation where women take over, making it easy for outsiders to assume that the man has been “amekaliwa chapati” (dominated in the relationship).
“A woman who is willing to listen and submit helps build a home. Anyone who is not willing to submit will be in trouble,” he stated.
He also advised couples to be open-minded in marriage, stressing that having rigid opinions can lead to conflict.
“You can’t have a strong opinion in marriage; you have to be open-minded. Some people always think they are right. You must understand that your way is not always right. You must be willing to learn. The opinion of the other person matters,” he explained.
Why Some Women Keep Attracting Married Men
In another post, Sam West discussed why certain women consistently attract married men, highlighting several key reasons:
1. You Are Too Friendly
Being naturally friendly isn’t a flaw, but some people take advantage of this trait to enter your life—and potentially your bed.
2. You Avoid Asking Difficult Questions
Some women fail to ask direct questions like “Are you married?”—either to avoid upsetting the other person or due to naivety. Some married men deliberately withhold important information, only revealing what they want you to hear.
3. You Are Emotionally Detached
If you are not clingy or overly attached, you might unknowingly fit the “ideal side chick” for a married man, as they often seek women who won’t pry into their personal lives.
4. You Are Exceptionally Beautiful
Beauty is a powerful magnet—it attracts people of all ages, including married men.
5. You Present a Challenge
Men love the thrill of the chase. If you appear independent and hard to get, some men see it as an exciting challenge to win you over, boosting their ego in the process.
6. You Are Always in the Wrong Places
Frequenting bars and entertainment joints where married men hang out increases the chances of being approached. Since many married men aren’t in a hurry to go home, they take time to observe your patterns and eventually make their move.
7. You Don’t Set Boundaries
Some women don’t have clear boundaries about dating married men. A married man may test your limits, especially if he has more resources than you (e.g., a workplace superior).
8. You Flirt with Married Men
Flirtation—whether intentional or not—can signal interest. Most men don’t know how to say no to temptation, making it easier for them to pursue you.
9. You Seem Desperate
Desperation is easy to spot. If you constantly ask men for favors, some might expect something in return—which could lead to a situation you never intended.
10. You Are Naturally Drawn to Married Men
Some women prefer dating married men because they view them as more secure, loving, and affectionate compared to single men.
Final Thoughts
While Sam West’s insights sparked debate, his advice remains clear: for men looking to marry, choose wisely; for women attracting the wrong men, reassess your habits and boundaries.
by PENINAH NJOKI
