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My man rejected me, I’m hurting

 

Q: I have been in a relationship with this man for almost two years. He was everything to me and I always told him that. Then he gradually lost interest and I could not get him even on phone. Later he told me that he cannot love me again. I’m so hurt. My friends are telling me to move on. But how? Any time we bump into each other in the estate, he doesn’t talk to me but just looks at me deeply. Why? Please advise. Hurt lady

 

A: While I understand the pain you are going through, I’m concerned that you regard your life as nothing after the break-up. You have a bright future ahead of you. Your feeling, “He was everything to me, how will I live without him” could be an indication that you were too desperate for him. Could it be that you looked so clingy around him and scared him off? In your letter you portray your ex as a person without faults, which could be an irrational thought. You need to have a meeting with yourself and ask yourself why exactly you are hurt so deeply. I am not sure why your boyfriend stares at you, but I think maybe he feels guilty, wishes he could be normal and hates himself for being incapable. Also, he didn’t turn to a stranger as you say; it could be you never really knew him. You also need to seriously know who you are and look for a way to restructure your self-esteem. Your friends are telling you to "Get a life” but my counsel to you is, "Create a life". After crying the pain out, think of yourself not as rejected, but set free – to walk forward towards new love, and all the things you will do with the rest of your life. Normalise the fact that he cannot love you as he said and know that it is impossible to love someone who cannot love you back. Make your hair, look in the mirror and greet yourself as somebody special and infinitely worthy of love, for whom new days are dawning. All the best, girl.   BY DAILY NATION    

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