Kenyan photographer and TikToker, Baba Talisha, has opened up about the deeply personal ways he coped with the sudden loss of his wife, Milkah.
Speaking on the Over 1M Podcast with host Tony Mwirigi, the content creator explained the overwhelming reality of his grieving process following a tragic road accident in 2020.
Among his revelations was the comforting but unusual routine he adopted in the early days of his loss. For a period, he slept holding her favourite clothes.
Finding Comfort in the Pain
Before the tragic highway crash, the young family was building a normal, happy life together. The accident near Kenyatta University claimed Milkah’s life and left Baba Talisha to raise their injured daughter, Talisha, alone.
To cope with the sudden silence and emptiness, Baba Talisha turned to the physical items his wife had left behind, specifically her nightwear.
“You know grief doesn’t come with a manual, and also it doesn’t have a timeline. For me, ofcourseit took time to moveon,I used to tell myself that I’ll never move onI’llnever love any other girl… huyu nalala na ngo zake, her favoriteclothethat she used to wear at night.”
He explained that during intense grief, actions are driven by pain rather than logic. Sleeping with her clothes was a vital coping mechanism that provided temporary peace.
“You know that is what you do when you grieving. It’s not you, hiyo ni grief, ni kitu ingine ajabu ndugu yangu. Sleeping with her clothes, that’s what made me feel okay.”
For Baba Talisha, those actions were the only things that made him feel okay during the first few days of mourning.
Holding On to Letters and Memories
Alongside her clothes, Baba Talisha also clung to handwritten letters and notes they had exchanged when she was alive.
“The letters, the everything that she used to write to me when she was still alive.”
Initially, his mind struggled to accept that she was gone. He experienced vivid dreams and fantasies, hoping for a miracle. He recalled dreaming that she would somehow wake up.
“The type of dreams you normally have every time… like all the fantasies.”
The Hard Choice of Letting Go
The turning point in his grief journey came during the first memorial service. Baba Talisha made the difficult decision to give away his late wife’s clothes. This included items he had bought for her that she had never even worn.
While he gave away the clothing, he chose to keep her letters. He explained that keeping them was strictly for the memories, not because he was holding on to the past.
“Sometimes letting go also makes you heal better and accepting.”
Baba Talisha ultimately accepted the reality of his new life. He realised he needed to step out of the illusion of hope and focus on raising their young daughter, Baby Talisha, who survived the crash with severe, lifelong neurological injuries.
Today, he continues to navigate life as a single father, preserving his late wife’s memory while focusing on the future.
