The passing of gospel singer Betty Bayo has opened up a charged and emotional national debate about the future of her two children.
The conversation has largely centred on two men: their biological father, Pastor Victor Kanyari, and Betty’s husband, Hiram “Tash” Gitau, who became a father figure to the youngsters during their years of living together as a blended family.
Online, Kenyans have spent days arguing over who should now take the lead in raising the children, with opinions split sharply down the middle.
“Children Understand Emotions, Not Biology”
Many social media users made it clear that, in their view, parenting is not defined by DNA alone. One user argued that children respond to love, consistency, and emotional presence more than biology.
For them, Tash represents a stable day-to-day parent who has been actively present.
They insisted that co-parenting should continue as it was before Bayo’s illness, allowing both men to remain in the children’s lives while minimising disruption during a painful transition.
Others pushed back, arguing that decisions around custody require more than emotional arguments. They questioned whether the online debate was being driven by grief, misinformation, or pure speculation.
Biological Ties vs Behaviour and Past Conduct
A significant group argued that although Pastor Kanyari is the biological father, that alone does not automatically make him the best caregiver.
Some pointed to his previous controversies and claimed that the children’s welfare should be the guiding factor above all else.
They added that the relationship between father and children has had its challenges in the past, with Bayo herself having walked away from the marriage years ago.
Still, others emphasised that Kanyari has remained financially responsible, paying school fees and participating in court-sanctioned co-parenting arrangements.
For them, this demonstrated commitment, consistency, and a desire to be involved in the children’s lives.
Doubts, Fears, and Heated Accusations
As the discussion spread, the tone of the debate became increasingly emotional. Some Kenyans suggested the children might not be safe in one home or the other.
Others raised questions about long-term commitment: Would a stepfather continue raising children once the biological parent is gone? Would family pressure influence either man’s decisions?
A few users questioned the paternity itself, while others dismissed such claims as disrespectful and unnecessary, especially during a time of mourning.
Kanyari Speaks: “I Respect Tash”
Amid the noise, Pastor Kanyari emerged with a message that surprised many. In a recent video, he acknowledged and praised Tash for caring for the children over the years.
He recognised that although he has contributed financially, it was Betty and her husband who were present with the children daily, and for that, he said, Tash deserved respect.
A Decision for the Courts — and the Children
As the arguments continue online, legal experts have reminded Kenyans that the matter will eventually be settled by the courts, guided by one principle: the best interests of the children.
For now, the country remains divided — but united in one hope: that Betty Bayo’s children will find stability, love, and care during the painful days ahead.
BY Geoffrey mbuthia
