According to a recent social commentary by Alice Ochieng-Tarr, single African women in the diaspora, particularly in America, are facing a “silent crisis.”
The author claims that the core issue is not financial or related to life in a foreign country, but rather a severe “dry spell” stemming from a scarcity of “good African men.”
These men, as defined by the commentary, are grounded, responsible, respectful, hardworking, loyal, and proud of their heritage. The competition for such individuals is described as “brutal.”
Fierce Competition for a Limited Pool
The commentary highlights that a desirable man’s social media inbox is a “warzone,” receiving attention from more than ten women at any given time.
Ochieng-Tarr claims that the competition is not limited to typical dating rituals; it includes women offering to cover all expenses for a relationship, with some even willing to “share” a man, making exclusivity optional.
This phenomenon is dubbed “man-rustling.” The author observes that this battle is not confined to one country and cites examples from Seattle and Germany, where women allegedly compete for men regardless of their relationship status.
New Players in the Market
The commentary also points out that the competition has expanded to include new demographics. While noting that the pool of available white men may not be for everyone, the author claims that white women who have dated African men have entered the scene with “ready visas and loaded bank accounts.”
Furthermore, the commentary suggests that Black American women have also joined the “crisis,” bringing their own “flavor of aggression” to the competition for African men they perceive as having value due to their pride and strength.
The Gamble of “Importing” Men
Faced with a limited pool of partners, Ochieng-Tarr writes that some women in the diaspora have resorted to creating their own solutions.
This includes “caging young men back in Africa” by funding their lifestyles in return for fidelity and bringing them to the diaspora for specific “services.”
The commentary also notes a trend of women “importing men directly from Africa.” The author describes this as a gamble, as some of these men stay and build a life, while others reportedly “vanish like morning dew” once they acquire a green card or citizenship.
A Cycle of Longing and Mistrust
The commentary concludes by asserting that this dynamic perpetuates a cycle of mistrust and heartbreak. The author explains that the “dry spell” creates frustration and envy, leading to a state of “roho chafu” (a rotten soul or inner malice) where women may hate others simply for having what they desperately want.
She concludes that behind the laughter and public image of the African diaspora, there is a quiet reality of “longing” and “competition” for the few “good African men” who are treasured because they can “love, protect, provide, and… take you to cloud nine.”
BY Geoffrey mbuthia
