Wanyiri Kihoro: My love for my late wife is irreplaceable; I still miss her
No story embodies the ‘for better, for worse’ promise made at weddings more than that of former Nyeri Town MP Wanyiri Kihoro and his late wife, Dr Wanjiru Kihoro.
Their love story left Kenyans awed at the power of love that made Wanyiri stay by his wife's side even as she battled the after-effects of a horrific accident in 2003.
Nothing had prepared him for the sudden immobility and death of his friend, companion and political consultant, whom he described as jolly and down to earth.
“My main goals shifted to trying to keep the family together and raising the children and playing the role of the mom. They are now all adults pursuing different things at life.”
Wanjiru was involved in an aircraft accident in Busia. She had accompanied some cabinet ministers and other government officials for a homecoming party for Cabinet Minister Moody Awori in 2003.
The couple had just returned to Kenya after being in exile in London during President Daniel Moi's tenure. They had spent eight months in detention before leaving the country.
The journey to Busia was to celebrate former President Mwai Kibaki's win in 2002.
After the accident, Wanjiru slipped into a coma for three years and nine months after suffering head injuries.
“You should never lose hope. I always hoped she would come around before she'd breathe her last.”
Hoped for a miracle
Wanjiru was admitted to both the private wing of the Kenyatta National hospital ICU and Nairobi Hospital, where she was fed through one tube while the air was pumped into her lungs through another.
“It was sad seeing Wanjiru like that... it was difficult to know what could happen in that kind of situation.”
For the nearly four years that his wife was in a coma, he was with her cheek by jowl, day in day out.
Though emotionally and financially drained, he continued to clutch on the possibility of life ahead and hoped for a miracle.
“You know the contrast between life and death... you want to believe that death isn't the ultimate price. I never wished death would visit.”
Since she could not speak to anyone, Wanyiri says they had a communication style with the wife that whenever he would visit, she was nudged to move her eyes or hands slightly.
“She never said a word after the accident, but she would open her eyes and often move whenever I visited. That gave me a lot of hope. It was a good sign.”
Wanyiri Kihoro stayed by his wife’s side as she battled the after-effects of a horrific accident.
One of the hardest parts during Wanjiru's sickness was explaining to their young children what happened and giving them hope that their mother would come home whole.
“Our youngest daughter was 10 . She was confused about what was going on. And after her mother died, she could not understand that her mom was gone and never coming back.”
Consequently, he says the youngest daughter became more reserved, putting a facade of bravery, but he could tell that she missed her mother.
“There is no flexibility in that. I could see myself in her as she struggled with unending questions: was the journey necessary, hadn't she gone, would she still be alive?”
To console herself, she retreated to journalling and writing poems to her mother that would occasionally be published in the local dailies.
The consequences of the unfortunate incident were dire for their oldest daughter, who had to postpone her wedding seven times while their son had to drop out of university.
Flashback
On the morning of the accident, Wanyiri remembers dropping his wife off to Narc-Kenya's Martha Karua office so that she could go for the journey in the ill-fated plane.
“We said our goodbyes-see you laters, and I started my journey to our rural home in Nyeri. We were to meet the following day again.”
Hours later, his phone would not stop buzzing.
“It was a normal day, but I started receiving countless phone calls while on my way back to Nairobi. After listening to the first call, I was thrown into a frenzy of thoughts, but ‘they’ kept calling my phone. I could hardly drive. I had to put my phone off.”
Wanjiru’s accomplishments
Wanjiru was an economist, writer and activist who was passionate about women's rights.
She graduated from Columbia University in New York and went on to complete her Masters in Development Studies and PhD at Leeds University during her working life in the 80s.
In 1985, she co-founded Akina Mama wa Afrika, a community-based organisation for African women which serves as a training centre for women in Africa.
The organisation focused on enhancing women's ability to participate in leadership through education programs, resources and research, providing platforms for advocacy and movements to influence politics and legislation.
She was in exile alongside her husband due to her activism against dictatorship under Moi's regime. While in London, she led a global campaign demanding the release of her husband from detention.
In 1992, Wanjiru helped found ABANTU for Development to train African women for positions of leadership. ABANTU was set up in Nairobi, with subsequent offices set up in Nigeria and Ghana.
According to Wanyiri, during his exile in London, she underwent education transformation, which later helped him in his political manoeuvres.
They returned to the country in 2002.
Wanyiri Kihoro’s books on the price of freedom. He wants to write a third one on the country’s “financial and political mess”.
“She offered me a lot of emotional support, and she was my confidant. Her immobility and death affected me politically because we would often exchange notes on matters affecting the community.” After the accident, Wanyiri says he lost his parliamentary seat as Nyeri Town MP.
“She helped a lot in the Mwai Kibaki's presidential bid, and she not been involved in the accident, she was due for an appointment in Kibaki's government.”
Together, as they had common interests in agricultural matters. They would organise retreats with coffee farmers from Nyeri and cane farmers from Trans Nzoia County.
During his tenure as an MP in Nyeri, he prides himself on starting the Constituency Development Fund through a Bill in parliament, improving infrastructure, education through the bursary initiative and infrastructure development.
When Wanyiri is not attending court sessions virtually from his Gatitu home in Nyeri County, he is often buried in acres of pages of political books he has stashed in one of the rooms.
“I am thinking of writing a book soon that will gravitate around the current political and financial mess we are in as a country.”
While juggling between his two homes in Nairobi and Nyeri, he finds the latter more conducive and safer, especially with the Covid-19 pandemic predominantly in the city.
Rehabilitating farm
“I want to move to Nyeri permanently where I can look after my chicken and coffee farm. Besides, the risk of me contracting the dreadful virus is minimal while I'm in the rural area.”
Currently, he is rehabilitating his 11 -acre farm under coffee as he seeks to leverage the changing fortunes in the sector.
“I’m channelling my focus to family now. I am not taking up any litigation works, and I also do not wish to be in the public service anymore,” he says, adding that he looks forward to enjoying life outside Nyeri and stay along the coast and Zanzibar.
Misses his wife
For the 60-year-old, remarrying was not an option, and he has never considered bringing home another wife.
“I feared I might be reduced to a person at the centre of the conflict. The woman would struggle to fit... most of the time, they come with their ideas of what the man should be, and it becomes tough for the man.”
He further stated that marrying a second wife drive a man into isolation with his older children as they would likely not accept the new members of the family.
To date, he still misses his wife, saying she was refreshing and her disposition was pleasant to everyone regardless of who they were.
“She would interact with everyone regardless of their social status. She was also a great cook, meticulous, and she detested westernisation. Education had not isolated her with roots. She was easy with everyone, which was very good.”
Wanyiri holds that the accident was a result of negligence and poor management of the runway.
His claims are backed by a 69-page Muthoga commission report that states that human error and poor runway condition caused the crash citing premature take-off as having led to the accident.
It goes on to state that one of the heavily laden twin-engine Gulfstream pilots was unqualified to fly from rough country airstrips like the one at Busia.
“The runway was too short for that kind of a plane, and the pilot was not qualified to fly it in such conditions.”
The runway was 1,000 metres long, of which 300 metres were unusable, leaving the pilots with 700 metres compared with the 1,200 metres the plane needed to take off successfully.
“That was a serious accident because three people died. It was a miracle she survived that time.”
It has always been hard to commemorate his wife as “it is always emotional for everyone as it's something you want to forget.”
Children are the future
Since 2013, he has been hosting children a week before Christmas to make merry and make them feel like part of a family unit.
He intends to transform his home into a children’ s home where he can equip them with knowledge on different spheres of life and implement the 4k club.
“Agriculture is the backbone of our economy, and I feel it is neglected but I wish to introduce it to the young ones so they can be reliant in the future.”
Setting up structures to accommodate the unprivileged children is an initiative he has always wanted to take up to nurture children as they are the future. BY DAILY NATION



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